I May Yet Live Forever
Posted on | January 22, 2010 | No Comments
Well, I refused to rip that last one out, despite stern admonishment from my General In Satan’s Army. They made me lose two, and to be honest, they were giving me hell back there, creating a nyarlathothepian gnarl of twisted flesh about them. I’m likely better of this way, though it did hurt like all hell. What appeared through the haze of anesthesia to be a pair of white-clad silverback alphas in a fit of murderous rage chipped away at my skull-bone for an hour until they got every last shard out, along with a splash of extra bone and about a bucket of gore.
Unrelated side note: they tell you it won’t hurt a bit, that it’s just a small pinprick until the drugs kick in, and then it goes numb all over. They lie. It hurts like a motherfucker. They shove that needle in about a dozen places around your gums and fill something that most definitely was not a bodily cavity of any sort prior to their pumping it full of anesthetic, which in turn probably does something to the pain, but if it was meant to kill it, they were throwing rocks at the godsdamn Borg Cube. So yeah, it hurts, and hurts quite a lot, not even counting the next two days of hazy, throbbing blur best spent watching the first two seasons of Eureka back-to-back.
But enough reminiscing – point is, I refused to have my remaining wisdom teeth extracted and was promptly chastised for this by several people – including said General – only to be promptly vindicated by Japanese researchers. It turns out, the little bugger still hanging in there could potentially keep me alive and fully-toothed for ages to come thanks to novel methods of extracting stem cells from wisdom teeth. They are already kicking in with some basic dental applications, and I’m guessing “new teeth from wisdom-stems-cells” are a technology that will be ripe just when I will need it most – some 15 years from now.
Considering the fun little fact (wildly overlooked in the news) that they are starting to efficiently kill/remove relatively large tumors without them metastasizing (yes, I know it mainly deals with breast cancer, but any sufficiently immobilizable body part can undergo a similar procedure), the medical profession seems to be on the right track to keep us alive forever.
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Written in minutes and fact-checked in seconds via Google. May contain unsafe levels of self-righteousness. Past cleverness is no guarantee of future results.
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